The 2021 Arts Odyssey Begins

2020 sucked for pretty much everyone, and I would certainly put myself in this group. 2020 was the year I had a baby just as the pandemic began, started working again two months after she was born, then hit the hormonal-imbalance postpartum wall. Now, two months into 2021, I’m feeling much, much better… but this experience has been deeply illuminating.

2020 revealed many truths. For me, it revealed how far I had drifted from myself. In 2021, I’m going to do something about that.

You see, until I was almost 30, I trained to be a professional opera singer – it was my passion, my obsession, my whole life. Then, just as I was becoming a real professional, I quit. I went back to school and did my law degree and my MBA. Why? Well, mostly because I wanted the people in my life to understand and respect what I did for a living. Spoiler alert: that was not a great reason.

I really did enjoy law school and my MBA, and I got a dope corporate job out of all of it. But, I hit burnout twice in three years, became very unhealthy, and was so stressed that I felt completely out of control of my own life – so I quit. I blew up my life again, gave up my super secure job, packed up my chic open-concept cubicle, and became a freelance copywriter. I finally got pregnant with my daughter (the one I gave birth to just as the pandemic began). Turns out this was not an ideal time to have a baby (what a surprise!). My burnout tendencies, old hormonal imbalances, and pressures I always put on myself all closed in on me, and I became an anxious, depressed, panicking postpartum mess.

But, with the help of therapy, my amazing husband, and the passage of time resetting my hormone levels, I am beginning to thrive again. And, with the turning of the year over to 2021, I can feel a return to myself manifesting. I don’t regret becoming a lawyer or working in my corporate job – both were amazing in their own ways. What I do regret is turning away from art completely during these years. I used to be an incredibly artsy kid, then a professionally artsy adult. Yet here I am, in 2021, not doing a single artistic thing that used to be the foundation of who I am at my core. Surely this might be linked to how out of balance I’ve felt for years. Perhaps I laid down too many parts of myself on the road to “adulting.”

So that brings me to now. As my postpartum challenges have mostly resolved themselves, and as the pandemic rolls on, I have decided to investigate those artistic pursuits I used to hold so dear, and see if I can find the pieces of myself I might have dropped somewhere along the way. I decided to chronicle this journey here and on social media, even though it feels super cringy at the moment. I’m a pretty polished, put-together over-achiever, so even typing the word “postpartum” had me ready to throw my computer out my bedroom window. But. I don’t know about anyone reading this, but for me, part of what has been so hard about the pandemic – and about new mom life – is feeling so isolated. So I’m going to do this out loud, just in case someone wants to connect over it.

Plus, whenever I tell people in my "new life” that I used to be an opera singer, they inevitably tell me about how they used to dance as a child, or play in a band in college, or how they love to draw but “they’re so terrible they would never show anyone their drawings.” I always sense a real sadness in these conversations, which makes me think there might be a lot of people who set down the artistic parts of themselves at some point. The pandemic has been such a strange opportunity (is that the right word?) to confront ourselves, that maybe – just maybe – someone might want to pick up those pieces of themselves like I’m going to try to do. Maybe we can do that together.

So here’s the deal: I picked 10 projects to tackle over the next 10 months (it’s the beginning of March, so I’ll be doing a project per month until the end of 2021). Like I said, I’ll be chronicling each project here, in a newsletter, and on social media (even though that absolutely terrifies and intimidates me). I decided to call this my Arts Odyssey, because an odyssey is a kind of spiritual wandering, where we can learn lessons along the way, even if we can’t predict what they will be when we set out. That sounds about right at the moment. An odyssey also feels long and daunting, which is pretty much how I’m feeling at the moment as well.

But I also feel thrilled. Back in my power. Stepping into myself. Just planning out the ten months and getting set up has been the happiest thing I’ve done just for myself in months and months. I feel free. I feel invigorated. I feel excited. Those are not words I have been using much during the ol’ pandemic. So if any of that intrigues you, I encourage you to join me. You can do the same projects I’m doing, or you can make your own Arts Odyssey (or hell – any kind of odyssey you want. It’s your odyssey, who am I to tell you what to do). If you want to work along with me, here’s my calendar. I hope you’re as excited as I am, and I hope it’s as fruitful as I suspect it might turn out to be. Here’s to 2021 not sucking!

THE 2021 ARTS ODYSSEY

AUGUST: Practice a musical instrument

MARCH: Study art history

SEPTEMBER: Be obsessed with dance

APRIL: Listen to classical music

OCTOBER: Be a theatre nerd

MAY: Sing along with musical theatre

NOVEMBER: Cry over opera

JUNE: Understand the world of jazz

DECEMBER: Sing together, at last

JULY: Make art