How to Support an Artistic Child During Recital Season

It’s winter recital season for little musicians and dancers, and with our own first baby on the way, I’m thinking about artistic kids (with two musician parents, we might end up with a child resigned to never be a performing artist, but who knows!). Sometimes it can be difficult to know how best to support your budding violinist or ballerina if you were never in the performing arts yourself. So, from the perspective of someone who has been a little musician, taught little musicians, and been around a gazillion little musicians over the years, here are five ways you can support your artistic kid this holiday recital season:

1. SET UP A DRESS REHEARSAL (or a couple)

Whether you have a child in a group artistic activity (like choir or dance) or a solo one (like violin or piano), giving them a chance to do a “run-through” of their upcoming performance can go a long way toward soothing their nerves, and can be a great way to make them feel more confident (plus, it gives kids an earlier date to prepare for than the night before the performance). I remember playing pieces for my grandparents the week before my recitals, and it was a huge help. If you’ve got kids who are pretty new to performing, I would also recommend they try out their concert attire for this “dress rehearsal” for family or friends. It’s never a pleasant experience to find out something doesn’t fit (or pulls funny, or is itchy, or “just is totally wrong, mom!”) five minutes before you need to leave the house.

2. ASK THEM ABOUT THEIR “GAME DAY” PREFERENCES AHEAD OF TIME

It’s good to talk through how performance day will go ahead of time so that you know (a) what the logistics are (ask your kid what their teacher has told them, if there are any handouts or emails about the recital, etc.), and also (b) what your little performer’s own preferences are about the day. For example, when I was a kid (okay, all the way through to when I was a professional performer), I always wanted to be really early for performances because I was nervous about being late. My parents would always want to leave the house at a perfectly reasonable time, but I wanted to be really early. Maybe your kid wants to sit up at the front of the church or recital hall with their friends and not with your family. Maybe parents aren’t allowed backstage, but they’d like you to walk them as far as you can go, then have your cell on hand in case they forget something. Talking through things ahead of time avoids accidentally hurt feelings and extra nerves (for both of you!).

3. TAKE CARE OF LOGISTICS

If you’re looking for a way to support your budding performer, one of the best ways is to let them know that you’ll handle all the logistics. I appreciated people doing this for me all the way up until I was a professional, and I still try to support my performer husband by offering assistance in this area. Way ahead of time, this includes making sure a little solo musician’s accompanist has a copy of their music (ask their teacher), ensuring their costume needs are taken care of (for little dancers and for holiday pageants), and making sure they know what they’re going to wear and having all the pieces of it ready to go. On the day of, let them know what time you need to leave the house and provide some warnings leading up to departure, have an easy-to-digest-but-protein-filled meal before leaving (eggs and toast is great, as is the classic PB&J if your child can have it – both reliable meals even professionals often eat before performing), pack a snack they can have backstage (a banana and crackers is great for a nervous tummy), and fill up a water bottle. Finally, help them do a last minute talk-through of everything they need to take with them when you leave the house (“Music?” “Check!” “Water bottle?” “Check!”). Once you get to the venue, help them find where they need to be, even though they might know better than you. For all logistics, nerves can really get in the way of clear thinking, so allow for extra time and provide a little extra assistance, even if you have a very self-reliant little performer.

4. GO TO THE PERFORMANCE!

Your kid might say they don’t want you to come. Or they might use the classic “you don’t have to come, it’ll be boring.” Obviously it’s going to be boring – it’s a performance entirely made up of children who are just starting to learn to do the thing they’re doing. Insist on coming (unless they really, truly freak out about you being there, in which case maybe offer to be backstage with them), and invite siblings and grandparents as well, if you can. Those early signs of support mean so much to a kid just starting out on a performing arts journey. Find out beforehand if you can take a picture or video, and ask your child if they would like their performance videotaped (some, especially older kids, often would prefer that you just watch, but some really want the video). Get a picture of them in their finery after the performance. Bring flowers! Go for a special meal afterward! Recitals are a big deal for kids – they’ve been working toward them for months, and they can be really nerve-wracking. Make the day feel special. (Critical tip: show respect and support for everyone else’s kids and your kid’s teacher by being a good audience member throughout the show. Stay for the whole performance, applaud, and stay off your phone. I KNOW it’s hard. You can do it.)

5. SHOW THEIR TEACHER(S) YOU APPRECIATE THEIR HARD WORK

Recital season is next-level crazy for music and dance instructors. Like, ca-ray-zee. This goes for private instructors and teachers at school. After the concert or recital or winter pageant, go let your child’s instructor(s) know two things: (1) how great you thought the whole performance was, and (2) how much you appreciated getting to see your child perform so beautifully. Your kid’s accomplishment that day is a reflection not only of your child’s hard work, but also of their teacher’s. And a small gift goes a long way. My personal favourite? A card from your kid with a modest gift card for a coffee chain. Easy to bring in your purse or pocket, easy for the teacher to actually use, much needed, and super appreciated. 

So those are my tips for supporting a tiny performer this holiday recital season. Whether it’s a violin recital or a solo in the choir on Christmas Eve, make your little artist feel special, supported, and celebrated!

Happy Holidays!

How to Really Enjoy Going to The Nutcracker

IT’S NUTCRACKER SEASON, Y’ALL! That means it’s time to talk about one of my favourite topics… how to go to the ballet (and actually LOVE it). The Nutcracker is by far the most-performed ballet, so if you’re going to see something, why not make it this beloved holiday classic?

Before I dive in, perhaps you arrived here because you already adore ballet. Maybe you’re super stoked about going to The Nutcracker for the thousandth time. Maybe you’re going for the first time, but you’re STILL super stoked. Or, perhaps – just perhaps – you feel like these guys:

Going to the ballet gets such a bad rap. GAWD, how can you make fun of a delightful story with some of the greatest music ever written?

Well, if you’re here because you’re a little skeptical but someone is “making you go” to the ballet this winter, or if you just don’t KNOW how to enjoy going to the ballet, let me walk you through it, using the Nutcracker as an example. Here are…

Five Easy Steps to Really Enjoy The Nutcracker

1. Skim the plot ahead of time

This seems counter-intuitive, because: if you’re worried about being bored, wouldn’t you want to be surprised by the plot? Nope, and here’s why. People who love The Nutcracker already know the plot, because they’ve seen it lots of times. Because they know what the ever-loving heck is going on, their minds don’t drift when the plot gets a little fuzzy (which, spoiler alert, it does in pretty much every ballet because there’s no talking). So here’s the plot of The Nutcracker at a glance for you to skim before you go. Then, when you get to the show, read the plot summary in the program to refresh your memory before the curtain goes up.

I love these super short videos from Ballet Austin summarizing each Act (which makes it way easier to remember). The videos together are only three minutes total, and do a great job of summarizing the whole ballet. But for the SUPER impatient among you, here’s the ultra-simplified synopsis:

1. There’s a Christmas party, where the main character (Clara) receives the gift of a wooden nutcracker.

2. She has a dream that The Nutcracker becomes a handsome prince, with whom she has three adventures: fighting the Mouse King and his army, seeing dancing snowflakes and the snow King and Queen, and going to the court of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

See? not so complicated. Girl gets present, girl falls asleep and thinks present is a real person, girl has elaborate dream sequence. If you miss the whole “it’s a dream” thing, or think each dance during the dream is telling a story, I can see why you’d be confused. After the fight with the Mouse King, it’s all basically just an adventure Clara and The Nutcracker go on where people dance for them.

2. Make a night of it, but don’t overdo it before the show

Here are the two mistakes I see a lot of beginner ballet-goers (and concert-goers, and theatre-goers) make: they either (a) don’t make enough of a special thing of it, or (b) overdo it before the show. Here’s what I mean. If you don’t go to the ballet or the symphony or the theatre often, you should make a night of it when you do (or an afternoon of it, if you go to the matinee). What do I mean? First, dress up (my rule of thumb is to wear what you would wear to a nice meal at that time of day in that area of the city – so evening performance = what you would wear out to a nice dinner downtown). Snap a selfie with whoever you went to the show with (you’ll look so classy on your Instagram, and if it’s with, say, your Grandma, you’ll also cherish the memory). 

Second, bundle the performance with a meal or drinks or dessert before or after. Really make a special event of the day (which can even be on the cheap – my dad used to drive us through McDonalds after going to a performance of any kind, even if it was really late, so we could stay up and talk about what we saw). However, you do need to avoid the potential pitfall here, which is… overdoing it. You know why so many people fall asleep at the ballet or the theatre? Because they had a huge meal with dessert and two glasses of wine at the restaurant right beforehand! My favourite pre-show dinner is sushi (nice and light, but filling enough that you won’t be hungry), and my favourite after-show ritual is tea and dessert at any restaurant in walking distance (or, if Ryan was performing, usually beer and nachos). Make. An. Event. Of. It!

3. Plan ahead for intermission

My hot tip for ballet (and music, and theatre) newbies is that most theatres allow you to pre-order your drinks for intermission (and some even let you bring them into the hall). You just walk up to the bar before the show and order and pay for your intermission drinks ahead of time, then when the intermission starts, the bartenders will have lined up the pre-ordered drinks with their receipts all ready to go. That means no waiting in a big ol’ line, then chugging a chardonnay to get back to your seat before curtain. My other intermission must-do is to hit the washroom AS SOON as intermission starts. Bolt from your seats and have a visit to the loo even if you’re not sure you have to go. Because once you stand around in the lobby and decide, the lines (for the women’s rooms especially) are usually a little crazy. Go right at the beginning for zero wait time, then grab your drinks from the bar when you come out. Boom – intermission, mastered.

4. Know what to look at, when

The reason ballet can get boring is because, if you weren’t a dancer, maybe you don’t really know what to focus on, so you slowly start to tune out. Switch to active viewing to stay engaged and get way more out of what you’re watching. Here’s how I do it: first, I watch for plot. I know basically what’s going to happen, so now I’m following the characters around the stage and seeing exactly what’s happening as it happens. Then, if there’s a scene where the plot isn’t moving forward much (which happens when there’s a beautiful solo or an ensemble number), I watch for choreography. What do I find interesting? What do I find really pleasing to the eye? Do I think it’s neat how the movements line up with the music? Follow the shapes each dancer makes individually, as well as the shapes made by the group, and just have a sense of wonder.

Then – I’ll be honest with you – I do get a little bored sometimes. Everyone does. Which is when I look at a few more random things. Which dancer in the ensemble do I think is most talented and why? (Maybe one just seems more technically “good,” or one has better stage presence). What do I think of the costumes and set? Have I even noticed everything there is to notice about what’s on stage? Finally, if I’m really not feeling a particular scene, I watch the orchestra (you can see them, even though they’re often tucked partway under the front of the stage). It’s just like watching a symphony concert – two shows in one!

Finally, what I love to tell especially classical music and dance newbies is this: I go to performing arts performances all the time, and I zone out sometimes. Ok, I actually zone out a bit quite often. I used to beat myself up about this, because, as an “educated” connoisseur of the arts, shouldn’t I be extremely engaged all the time? Naw. No shame in this game. I think the arts are meant to be enjoyed on different levels, one of which is subconscious. I’ve had some of my best ideas come to me during performances. I once had someone tell me how much they enjoyed seeing older people fall asleep during concerts (which absolutely happens) because maybe it’s going to be a great rest for them when otherwise they have trouble sleeping. I don’t recommend active napping (you paid good money for this! And it’s amazing!), but don’t feel bad if your mind wanders a bit – just let it happen, and keep watching and listening. You might be surprised what pops up for you. And since you know the plot now, you can tune back in when the action picks back up.

5. Talk about it after

I think it’s so important to lock in the memory of going to a performance of any kind by talking about it after. If you went with a date, talk about your favourite parts immediately after the show. If you went with your kids, ask them what they liked best – who was their favourite character, which costumes did they like the most, did they enjoy it? Then think about it later yourself. The Nutcracker isn’t a profound work of high art; it’s a fun, fantasy romp, and it’s meant to be light and delightful. But that doesn’t mean you won’t have seen things that fascinate or inspire you. What struck you as really interesting? What moments captivated you, and why? For me, this can be a huge source of insight. For example, when I was in my corporate job, I was often so moved when I saw people expressing their abilities to their full potential. Um, hello, that’s what I needed to be doing more.

And finally, talk about the show the next day at work or at school or at mom’s group or whatever. First of all, it makes you sound classy as hell, and it can be really nice to add a bit of a fancy feather in your work or friend circle cap. Second, it shows your support for the arts in your community, and demonstrates to others that it’s actually really easy to “be cultured” and take in the arts. And finally, it can spark some really interesting conversations about what other people might be going to see this holiday season, and you might just pick up some more awesome date night/family-day-out ideas along the way.

So go see The Nutcracker! You’ll (actually!) love it!

I hope this has gotten the hyped among you even more hyped… and for the skeptics, I hope it’s given you some tools and tactics to arm yourself with so you don’t end up strolling the lobby hoping to find a TV like those Straight No Chaser guys.

Happy Nutcracker season, everyone!

Spooky Halloween Art

It’s almost Halloween, so in honour of the spooookiest holiday, I’ve put together this list of my favourite creepy art, music, dance, and theatre. Personally, I’m not big on Halloween (aside from the candy, OBVIOUSLY), but what I do love is art that goes bump in the night. Happy Halloween, everyone!

Study after Velázquez’s Portrait of Innocent X

Francis Bacon, 1953

This painting is often used as an example in texts about colour theory (yellow and purple are on opposite sides of the colour wheel, which is why they pop so intensely when paired together), but MY GOODNESS it gives me the heebie jeebies. Partially because I detest yellow and purple together, but primarily because of DAT FACE.

---

The Nightmare

Henry Fuseli, 1781

GAH. Have you ever had the nightmare where you wake up and someone is in your room? No? Just me? Well thank God I’ve never had a dream about a frickin’ gargoyle sitting on my stomach and a dang DEMON HORSE in my room. My goooodness.

---

Study of the Heads of Torture Victims

Theodore Gericault, 1818

WHAT’S IN THE BOX!? WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!! Oh, it’s this painting. P.s., Gericault did a series of these, all about severed body parts. Great. That’s just great. I didn’t need to sleep ever again. It’s fine.

---

Skull of a Skeleton with a Burning Cigarette

Vincent Van Gogh, 1886

I actually adore this painting. The colours are so magnificent, and the shoulder-dropped posture of the skeleton is so… devil may care? Scary or no, a smoking skeleton CLEARLY deserves Halloween attention.

---

Saturn Devouring His Son

Francisco Goya, c. 1823

This, on the other hand, I hate (not because it’s a bad painting, because it’s absolutely amazing, but because EWWW). This is based on the Roman myth of the god, Saturn, you know… eating his son. Hoo boy. There are actually multiple scary paintings based on this moment in mythology, but Goya’s is TERRIFYING. Gawd. Get it off my computer screen.

---

Judith Slaying Holofernes

Artemesia Gentileschi, c. 1610

I don’t personally find this painting scary, per se… but hey, I’m a feminist and Holofernes was a big jerk. There are a ton of paintings of this scene, meant to represent the power of women over unjust/power-drunk men, but none as famous (nor as gory) as this one. 

---

Follow the leaders

Isaac Cordal, 2011

Cordal is known for outdoor installations, particularly this series of tiny sculptures of business men/politicians in watery gutters, on ledges, and buried in debris – a commentary on “our inertia as a social mass.” I find them TERRIFYING. 

---

Macbeth

Shakespeare (duh), 1606

IMO, you can’t have a Halloween arts list without “The Scottish Play” (shh! It’s bad luck to say its name! …in a theatre, at least.) In case you’ve forgotten your high school English class, there are ghosts! There are witches! There’s blood that won’t go away, and a floating dagger! Plus it’s all in the foggy Scottish moors. There’s the original play of course, there are several movie versions (including one with Michael Fassbaender and Marion Cottiard), and there’s also a kick-ass opera version by Verdi.

---

Little Shop of Horrors

Miles Goodman and Alan Menken, 1982

There are several great spooky musicals, but Little Shop is my favourite (mostly because I played Audrey in high school… the girl, not the plant! But also because it’s just all-around awesome). I’m not exactly sure why, but I find the movie version scary as hell. Maybe it’s the creepy lighting. Maybe it’s the sadistic dentist. Maybe it’s the giant man-eating plants from outer space. It’s a mystery.

---

Sweeney Todd

Steven Sondheim and Hugh Wheeler, 1979

A demon barber in Victorian England slits the throats of his customers while they’re in his chair, then a baker turns them into meat pies. Fun for the whole family, really.

---

“In the Hall of the Mountain King” from Peer Gynt

Edvard Grieg, 1875

This is literally a whole piece about a bunch of trolls, gnomes, and goblins in the, well, hall of a mountain king. Yes, please!

---

Danse Macabre

Camille Saint-Saëns, 1874

The devil makes the spirits rise from the dead and dance to this sweet sweet creepy tune (basically the equivalent of “Devil Went Down To Georgia”, but for symphony orchestra).

---

A Night on Bald Mountain

Modest Mussorgsky/Nikolai Rimsky-Korzakov, 1886

To me, this will always be “the terrifying part of Fantasia.” Or, the scary part of Mario. Like, seriously, how can music sound so damned terrifying right from the very first note?!

---

“March to the Scaffold” and “Dream of a Witches Sabbath” from Symphonie Fantastique

Hector Berlioz, 1830

This piece of symphonic music is meant to tell the story of a guy who is so hopelessly in love with this woman that he overdoses on opium then dreams that he kills her and is condemned to be executed (fun!). So this is the end, where he has to march up the scaffold to his death, then, for some reason, there’s a super wild, evil, witches’ ritual. 

---

Lucia’s Mad Scene from Lucia di Lammermoor

Gaetano Donizetti, 1835

There are loads of creepy moments in opera, but this is my favourite. Lucia is forced into marriage, then kills her betrothed on her wedding night. Apparently it was a thing for the wedding party to continue on while the couple headed upstairs, which makes for the stunning moment when Lucia emerges from her marital bed, still in her wedding dress, covered in blood – oh, and she’s gone completely crazy. This aria also features the glass harmonica – an instrument some believed to have supernatural powers.

---

Commendatore scene from Don Giovanni

Mozart, 1787

Sooo… most of Don Giovanni is about the worlds’-most-famous-womanizer scheming and, well, womanizing all over the place. Then it all catches up with him, and the statue of the dead father of a woman he assaulted comes to life and drags him to hell. And it’s some of the best music and drama in all opera. Plus, there were probably real fire effects on stage as early as the premiere during Mozart’s time. Yikes!

---

Swan Lake

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, 1876

Ballet is FULL of creepy plots, femme fatales, and supernatural ballet babes. If you know the plot of Swan Lake, you know it’s no exception. Are you team Odette (White Swan) or Odile (Black Swan)? Maybe embrace your dark side and, if you can’t watch the real thing, re-watch Black Swan this Halloween.

---

Giselle

Like many ballets, Giselle is about a female lover scorned by a big jerk who she then comes back to haunt/kill as an evil spirit. Giselle is extra awesome because she joins a whole army of evil female spirits called the Willis. Ummm, vengeful lady ghosts? That’s my kinda Halloween. Just for fun, here’s the contemporary reimagining by choreographer Akram Khan. Evil lady spirits unite!